I didn't say it was a legal requirement or that it had happened in some universal way. I said it was an expectation. Which it was (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_and_children_first).
Looking for absolutes is a waste of time. There is nothing, not even female oppression, that has been applied universally to every member of a class. It's a red herring. Men's lives, historically (and still today), have been treated as more disposable than women's. You know this. It's true across almost every culture in history. You don't have to pretend otherwise to make your point about women's oppression.
The rise of the manosphere, in my opinion, is the result of a culture where women are no longer under the same degree of expectation to perform feminine gender roles (this is a good thing) but where men are still under the same pressure to perform masculine gender roles.
This pressure is exerted by other men, by society as a general, amorphous cluster of stereotypes and defaults, and by women. Again, just as an easy example, men are still, almost universally, expected to pay for the first date. Men are expected to "man up" in relationships when desired but also to defer when it's not. Men are expected to be confident and sure of themselves. These expectations, by and large, come from women. I promise you, the overwhelming majority of men have experienced this in their romantic lives.
Yes, sexual violence is an overwhelmingly male problem. Absolutely no argument from me. I've written about it numerous times. But that's not even close to saying that the majority of men are sexually violent. Again, this is the identity politics blind spot we see in all kinds of social justice issues. The majority of vicious racists thought history have been white. But that's not even close to saying that the majority of white people are vicious racists.
People are not their groups.
And no, I don't think many women are aware of the challenges men face at all. I think some women assume they are. Because they're bombarded with rhetoric that tells them men's lives are jamborees of mansplaining and toxic masculinity.
But when men try to talk to them about the reality, they very rarely truly listen. Instead they respond with stories about the problems that affect women. It's incredibly difficult to have a conversation about men's problems that doesn't turn it into a competition over who has it worse. Or where examples of the behaviour of the worst of men aren't treated as the fault of men in general.
And then there are the inevitable comments like "I really don't fucking care" and "stand up and be a man" and "that's just weak," where you seemingly failing to realise that this exactly the kind of "patriarchal" mindset that women are complaining about and that men experience all the time. I mean, seriously?!
Somebody needs to care about men. They need to be allowed to be "weak." Otherwise we end up with exactly the situation you're highlighting. You can't complain about the patriarchy and gender roles and then simultaneously demand that men stand up and "be men"!!
This is what I was referring to in my last reply. I've spoken to many women who seem utterly unaware of the pressure they put on men to be the very thing they're complaining about.
Men need to get better at listening to women. I truly agree wholeheartedly. I'm often shocked at how little thought many men give to the ways women's experiences differ from their own. But the reverse is true too. Do you see that?
