I mean, that's exactly what I'm arguing against in the piece. I think this idea of who's "allowed" to use the word is childish at best.

Adults should be able to tell the difference between an attack and a word used in its proper context. If it's being used an attack, sure, there might well be consequences for that, but to act as if the word itself, simply as a sound, is kryptonite for black people, belittles us.