I'm not sure what you're implying here, I haven't once suggested that you don't have a right to express your opinion. I just disagree with your characterisation of her.

For example, the tweet you quoted doesn't, in my opinion, show disdain for trans folks, it shows disdain for the ways that language is being reshaped. Disagreeing with the definition of terms, doesn't equal hatred for the people who are trying to change those definitions.Language is a living, breathing thing which people disagree about all the time. Ultimately the disagreements don't matter; either the changes stick or they don't.

Regardless of what happens in this case, trans people will continue to exist. Words can't change that either way. So why be so afraid of talking about them? You say that it hurts nobody to use a phrase like "people who menstruate", but that's clearly not true. Rowling isn't even close to the only woman who has objected to the phrase. I think these women would accuse you of exactly what you're accusing them of, "denying their lived experience and denying them the dignity of being allowed to define their own gender".

So what's the solution? All out war? Both sides hurling rocks at each other from behind ideological walls? Never engaging with each other in good faith and instead using reductionist arguments to attack each other? Cis women misgendering trans women? Trans women dismissing every cis woman who doesn't agree with everything they say as a TERF?

I'm just making the radical suggestion that these things should be spoken about in a more reasonable, good-faith way.