So your husband intended to express a rather beautiful sentiment. You understood that intent. But you decided to punish him for doing so? And still, years later, you further distort what he said instead of allowing yourself to accept the expression of love he made?

I don't think you're the hero of this story Marnita.

It wasn't a backhanded compliment. It was a compliment. It was imperfectly expressed, sure. But your feelings about yourself are the stumbling block. That's what's creating the "impact." Not your husband's feelings about you. I'd suggest that the same is true here.