The Case Against Men In Women’s Spaces

No, it’s #notallmen. But sometimes we have to pretend it is.

Steve QJ
5 min readJul 31, 2022


Photo: Morsa Images/Getty Images

N.B. This article mentions sexual violence frequently enough that I thought I should give readers a heads-up. There are no graphic descriptions of violence, but some men do horrible things and I refer to them (as tangentially as possible) at various points.

There’s nothing more frustrating as a writer than being misunderstood. Mainly because it’s probably your fault.

After all, we get to sit quietly in front of our computers, carefully arrange and rearrange our thoughts, and only hit “publish” when they’re perfectly seasoned. So while there will always be people who lie or twist our words or don’t read past the headline, it’s our job to make ourselves as clear as possible.

Especially on issues where emotions run high.

And yet, no matter how clear I think I’ve been, I’m often misunderstood when I write about trans issues. At least by a few rather…vocal commenters.

They ask me why I’m trying to demonise trans people, which I’m not. They ask me why I think trans women are a threat, which I don’t. They ask me why I don’t write about violent men, which, to be fair, is a good question.

So today, to avoid any possibility of confusion, I decided to write about a group of people who are very much in my “lane.”

Let’s talk about my fellow man-splaining, man-spreading men.

I’m going to come right out and say it, I don’t think violent or predatory men should be allowed into women’s spaces.

Rapists, stalkers, perverts, I think every last one of them should be banned.

And here’s the really controversial part; because there’s no way to distinguish between violent, predatory men and their gentle, good-natured counterparts, I think all men should be banned.

Elderly men, kind-hearted men, celibate men, gay men, even asexual men, the ban should be indiscriminate. Because otherwise it risks being meaningless.

But let’s be clear, this isn’t because I hate men. It’s not because I don’t know men personally or because I want to demonise them. It’s not because I don’t understand…



Steve QJ

Race. Politics. Culture. Sometimes other things. Almost always polite. Find more at