The Case Against Men In Women’s Spaces

No, it’s #notallmen. But sometimes we have to pretend it is.

Steve QJ
5 min readJul 31, 2022
Photo: Morsa Images/Getty Images

N.B. This article mentions sexual violence frequently enough that I thought I should give readers a heads-up. There are no graphic descriptions of violence, but some men do horrible things and I refer to them (as tangentially as possible) at various points.

There’s nothing more frustrating as a writer than being misunderstood. Mainly because it’s probably your fault.

After all, we get to sit quietly in front of our computers, carefully arrange and rearrange our thoughts, and only hit “publish” when they’re perfectly seasoned. So while there will always be people who lie or twist our words or don’t read past the headline, it’s our job to make ourselves as clear as possible.

Especially on issues where emotions run high.

And yet, no matter how clear I think I’ve been, I’m often misunderstood when I write about trans issues. At least by a few rather…vocal commenters.

They ask me why I’m trying to demonise trans people, which I’m not. They ask me why I think trans women are a threat, which I don’t. They ask me why I don’t write about violent men, which, to be fair, is a good question.



Steve QJ

Race. Politics. Culture. Sometimes other things. Almost always polite. Find more at