What Exactly Is A Toxic Person?

Do we have to turn people into villains before it’s okay to remove them from our lives?

A few days ago I read this article entitled “How to Pull Away from Toxic People, and Who to Replace Them With” and my first thought wasn’t “how can I get rid of the toxic people in my life?” but rather, “isn’t it kind of toxic to think about people like this?”

I mean sure, there are people in the world who make the lives of those around them worse. We all know — or at least have known — somebody who’s difficult to be around, or who is almost gleefully negative. We’ve all met who people were masters at manipulating the emotions and guilt of everyone they could, or delighted in putting others down. But despite that, there’s something about looking at people in terms of who we should pull away from and who we should replace them with, that feels particularly ugly.

I mean think about this: what if you’re “toxic”? After all, toxic people don’t think of themselves as toxic, right? They don’t have green skin or a tattoo on their foreheads informing them of their status. What if you haven’t noticed that you’re the kind of person that only calls your friends when you need something? What if your good-natured banter isn’t received quite as well as you think it is? What if you’re on the wrong side of the…