You know what? Mea culpa. You lost me way back at the beginning with your "women can easily ignore a penis" bullshit. You doubled down in numerous other deeply unpleasant ways, and you’ve demonstrated at numerous points that you're not a person who has any respect or empathy for women. So honestly I haven't been particularly interested in conflict resolution with you. I'm broadly disgusted by your views. And the truth is that your blasé attitude to women's boundaries does come across as rapey. That may not be nice to hear. But it's true. Again, in disbelief at the things you’ve been saying, I've shared this conversation with numerous male and female friends. And they've all felt the same way. Maybe something for you to think about.

As for your claim that I implied that the murder of trans women is reserved for sex workers? No. I didn’t do this at all (though I notice that you apparenty don’t have those statistics). I simply pointed out that slinging around claims about “daily death tolls” and “rights to existence” is disingenuous, emotionally manipulative bullshit.

But that said, given that I continued to talk to you, I should have either been more productive or blocked you. And given that I'm not the type to block people, I guess that leaves talking.

Yes, I have thought about it. In my opinion, bathrooms should function as they do now. As I said already, I think trans people using the bathroom of the gender they identify with is by far the best solution for all concerned. This debate is often framed around bathrooms, but I think bathrooms are the least controversial part of this for most women. Privacy is fairly easy in women's bathrooms. And trans men make the whole “use the bathroom of your biological sex” idea a non-starter.

In sports, ideally, trans women and trans men would compete in their own categories. Trans men, who are often ignored in this whole debate (because as I said it's not about trans exclusion it's about women's rights), are also at an unfair disadvantage if they compete against male athletes. But given that there aren't enough trans people at the moment for their own categories, one thought I've had is that women and trans women compete together (and obviously men and trans men too), but their medals and records are separate.

This avoids trans women setting world records in the women's category that female athletes will never be able to equal, it gives trans women and women (and trans men) the opportunity to be seen standing on the top step of podiums and inspire people like them, and it recognises the differences between these groups without excluding people.

Crisis centres are tricky, and I don't feel, as a man, I have much right to speak on this. But given that there are far fewer trans women than women, maybe it makes sense to simply have centres for trans women. Or maybe the majority of potential problems could be solved simply by having separate facilities for showering/sleeping (or at least having certain times that were female only). And of course, the solutions should be built around the comfort of the people who need these spaces by asking both trans women and women what they want and need.

I firmly believe that trans women should defer to the comfort of women in these spaces. But I equally firmly believe that trans women who need these facilities should have them and feel safe and comfortable in them. Again, the most obvious issue here is the risk posed to vulnerable women if any man can access these spaces simply by saying he's a woman. Rowling's issue (and mine, and most other women maligned as "TERFs") is around self ID.

Changing rooms, too, are tricky. Here, there's also the issue that young girls use these spaces. For that reason, my gut instinct is that pre-op trans women shouldn't use female changing rooms. I've heard this view expressed by many women. This is the area which I freely acknowledge is the least fair to trans women. But honestly, protecting children is far more important to me than protecting the feelings of trans women. I'd be very interested to hear any solutions you have that aren't "young girls should just ignore the penises of fully grown men if they aren't erect."

So yes, I have thought about this. As I said, I care about both sides of this debate. And I understand that trans women are, by and large, suffering for the actions of men. But the problem with your position is that you're asking women to ignore the redefinition of what they are, to allow the erosion of rights and protections they earned with centuries of struggle, and to accept changes that will make them more vulnerable to men, all for the emotional validation of a tiny subset of the population. I think that on the occasions where one group has to compromise, it's obvious that it should be trans women. You've yet to make any case for why it shouldn't be.