You made a lot of points that I'd like to rrespond to but I'll satisfy myself with two.

First, I completely agree with the above. I see exactly the same problem in the black community. Some people absolutely become addicted to a sense of victimhood and marginalisation and actively sabotage attempts to break down barriers. These people are self obsessed and despicable, I agree. I'm just not willing to dismiss everybody who feels differently to me with that label. 50 years ago people would be saying that every gay man they had ever met was a nancy-boy or a pervert.

Second, the language of cis and trans is useful in certain settings and not useful in others. I don't walk around in daily life refering to myself as a cis man, but I don't object to being called black even though my skin is clearly brown either. Labels are all useless in the broader sense of our humanity, they're occasionally useful when discussing certain concepts.